Encountering Jesus, Encountering ourselves
At the pancake supper Wednesday night, someone from the congregation said, “I'm a little confused, isn't it supposed to be Shrove Tuesday pancakes, not Wednesday? And what is Shrove Tuesday anyway? And why do we eat pancakes? Very good questions!
Shrove Tuesday is the last day before the beginning of the season of Lent. The word shrove is the past tense of the Old English word shrive, meaning to ask for forgiveness of sins. People would use this last day to confess their sins before entering the penitential time of Lent. They wanted to begin this most holy season with a clean heart.
As early as the 4th century, Christians began the custom of fasting during Lent, much like Jesus in the wilderness. Obviously people still had to eat and drink something. But it was very restricted, no meat, no fat, no sugar.
Eating pancakes and ham on the day before Lent began was a great way to use up all the meat, fat and sugar in house. Ironically, this meant that the last day before Lent also became a time of celebration, of eating all the things that they weren't permitted to indulge in during the 40 days of Lent.
This is where the custom of Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, began. It was the last day to indulge and eat fat. The name Lent comes from the Old English/German word for spring and length, as in the days lengthening.
Not a lot of people outside of church know much about Lent, and for those who do know something, both in and out of church, they tend to focus on the fasting aspect, giving something up. But there is a lot more to Lent than that.
Essentially Lent is our opportunity to enter into the wilderness with Jesus. The wilderness not a bad place. If you think about it, in the Bible the wilderness is usually where people go when want to be closer to God. It was during their 40 years wandering in desert that the Israelites came to know God and understand themselves as the people of God. Prophets often spent time in wilderness. John the Baptist preached in the wilderness and today we heard that Jesus went into the wilderness to fast and pray.
There are a lot less distractions in the wilderness, just us and God. That is something we are particularly in need of in our day and age, where distractions rule the day.Just taking a fast from Facebook, e-mail or texting would be huge challenge for most of us! And how many could give up their cell phones for 40 days?
There are many ways we can enter into the wilderness with Jesus during Lent these days, even if we never leave our homes. There's a lot more to it than giving up chocolate or meat. Entering into the wilderness with Jesus means being ready to encounter him with an open heart, no holding back, no trying to hide.
Because let's face it, we all have parts of our personality we would like to hide from ourselves and from God, don't we. Sometimes they are called our shadows, our places of challenge and uncertainty. They're those parts of who
we are that we struggle with, that we try to pretend aren't there - things like anger that has become toxic, being judgmental, jealousy, greed, fear, lack of faith – the list could go on. I'm sure you all know what I mean. We know what our shadows are, but we try to pretend they aren't there.
As I mentioned during Learning Together, the gospel readings this year are all stories of people encountering Jesus. Each person's experience is very different, depending on their own life situation. What I found fascinating as I read the passages is how in each story, the person who encounters Jesus is in some way forced to face their own shadows, their own places of challenge and uncertainty. And once they have encountered Jesus and faced their shadows, life is never same again.
That process of encountering Jesus, of facing our shadows and being changed by the experience is known as metanoia. It's what Jesus is talking about at the end of the gospel reading for today, when it says that he began his ministry by proclaiming, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”
Repent is how most scholars have chosen to translate the Greek word metanoia. Unfortunately “repent” has taken on layers of meaning which are far removed from the true sense of metanoia. It has nothing to do with guilt or shame. Metanoia literally means, change of mind, but there is much more to it.
Miriam Webster dictionary defines it as, “a transformative change of heart, a spiritual conversion.” Another theological site says it implies making a decision to turn around, to face a new direction.
In this passage Jesus is calling us to look deeply within, to face our shadows, to bring them before God and to be transformed by the process. It's important to realize our shadows aren't all bad, sometimes they just need light and love of God to be transformed into something beautiful and life giving.
I learned a powerful lesson about that back in college. I took an outdoor ed class with a professor who was also my ski coach so he knew me very well. He knew I had leadership skills, but he also knew I could be rather superior so he deliberately put me in a group for hiking trip and canoe trip with a boy who was equally knowledgeable about outdoors as I was.
It was a disaster. The boy and I clashed over everything – how to build the fire, how to cook the food, where to put the tent, how to load the canoes and on and on. The rest of the group called us both bossy pains and wished they could kick us out.
Afterwards my professor took me aside and gently explained to me that my leadership skills were a double edged sword. If I saw myself as superior and in charge, then I truly was bossy and unpleasant. But if I used those skills with love and not ego, they could become a true gift to those around me.
I have never forgotten that lesson, but I have continued to struggle with it all my life. I recognize that my leadership skills are tied into my desire to be right, and that is one of my big shadows. As long as I keep bringing both those things into the light of my relationship with God, they can be gifts, but the minute I hide them, especially that desire to be right, or try to pretend isn't there, is minute that it takes over in negative way.
That's what Lent is all about, looking honestly at ourselves and experiencing metanoia, transformation, in our hearts and lives over and over again. Lent is a time to build our trust in God, to not rely so much on ourselves. It is a time when each of us as individuals and all of us together as a church can encounter Jesus and let our lives be touched and changed by him.
It will be a different journey for each of us, we each have different shadows and challenges to face, we each have different needs. The important thing is that we enter Lent with open minds and hearts.
The people we will meet in the stories of Lent, the people who encounter Jesus, are far from perfect. Some are fearful, some are misfits, some lack self-confidence, some are confused, judgmental, angry. In short, they are just like us and we can learn so much from them.
Encountering Jesus in these stories means encountering ourselves. Each story in Lent holds a mirror up to us, how are we like and not like Jesus? How are we like and not like the others in the stories, the people whose lives are touched by Jesus?
Listening to these stories with an open heart won't always be easy, but encountering Jesus is not always easy, especially if we are honest. He has a way of challenging all of us to get out of our comfort zone, to look at things differently.
This Lent may we all take the time and the effort to face our shadows and be open to transformation, to encounter God in a new and honest way.